Pictures continued...

Here are a few of my favorite! I will post more later because I am at Primary's with my little princess Jaycee.

Pictures

Last Sunday in 26 degree weather we had some pictures taken. Tracy and her sister Lore were amazing! Here is a sneak peek she made for me....I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE PICS!

Thank you Tracy and Lore!

http://www.shamelessphotography.net/

The Shack

Last week I read a book that came highly recommended from my friend Lisa. She described to me a book that had made her think a lot about religion. Lisa and I have had a few discussions about religion, I try and defend my LDS beliefs, while she believes in God but not organized religion. I love Lisa dearly and we always end up agreeing to disagree:)

The book is called The Shack. It did not look very appealing to me at first. But we shouldn't judge a book by its cover. ( something the book made me think a lot about )

The little girl that dies in this book is named Melissa Anne. I am Melissa Ann. ( I always wished I had an ( e ) at the end of my Ann...it's sort of a Anne of Green Gables thing. ) I do not think that this was a coincidence. I payed mare attention to this book because of her name. A lot of this book reached to the deepest part of me and made me study myself form the inside out.

Religion to me is something that can never be taken away from you. You can lose your home, job, sight and even family. But in religion all of those exist. Religion can be your home, job, make you see things, and I know that because of my religion that families are forever.

The biggest thought this book brought to the surface was JUDGEMENT. I judge people, we all do. But I catch myself retracting a lot of those judgements now. In this book it says that when we judge...we are judging God. This is so true! We are commanded not to judge. This book talks a lot about forgiveness. I need to work on this A LOT. Especially when it comes to my ex husband!! I truly want him to rot in hell for what he has done to his kids. But he can be forgiven...but can I forgive him? I'll work on it.

So Thankful

In church today someone commented on this video. I loved it and had to post it. Si here is what I am thankful for....

Kids

I have truly amazing children. Heavenly Father knew who I needed. Bryn is the biggest helper ever! She is so sweet to me. She makes sure I am taken care of all the time. I have said it before and it is still so true....EVERYONE NEEDS A BRYNLEE!

Jaycee is a mysterious soul to me. She almost has the spirit of an older woman. She has a sweetness and innocence about her that is hard to place. She does not care what anyone thinks about her and she is true to her family.

Camden is a boy! ALL BOY! My mom reminds me of that often. I think with him that he is here to be my protector. He is am amazing boy and is so smart. Love my man!

Parents

I would be nothing without them. they truly are the best parents! They are so good to me and my kids. I am blessed to be their daughter. My kids admire them so much! I do not always get along with my mother, but know that she would do anything for me and my kids.

Ward

I have the best ward! I would not have never returned to Church had it not been for my ward. there are no words to describe how much I love them.

School

I actually have a love/hate relationship with this. I love that I am actually able to go to school. I am looking forward to being a nurse someday. It is my calling in life! I can't wait!!.

I have so much to be thankful for! I will have to post more later:)

A bird in hand....

I remember in our basement growing up that on our bookshelves we had a plaque that one of my Dads brothers had given him that said: A bird in hand is better than 2 overhead.
Yes it is a cheaper imitation of the Old English Proverb: A bird in hand is better than 2 in the bush.

Well on Friday we were at Murray Park playing and watching the ducks in the stream there. All of the sudden Bryn is FREAKING OUT! She keeps saying that there is something in her hair...I kept looking and I couldn't see anything. But then I spotted it....a little bird in the tree above her had done his business and it landed in her hair.

Bryn is such a good sport about it even when her sister yelled it in front of all of her friends!!

I laughed pretty hard and hope she will always remember it as something very funny!!

Camden Crack Ups

My little Cam man is the funniest kid I know! I can get so frustrated with him and he can make me laugh and forget why I was even mad. This are some of his latest antics...

Mom: Camden if you don't get your room cleaned up I'm going to take you out!!!!!

Camden stares at me for several seconds....

Camden: Like to lunch?





Mom: Camden I am going to flip if you don't quit teasing your sister!!!

Camden: A front one or a back one?

He is so funny, and I can never stay too mad at him:)

Principles Showcase

About a 3 weeks ago when I was picking up Jaycee form school she came running FAST to the car. Jaycee never runs, she is my lally gagger and works at her own pace on everything. She said she had something to show me. I was in a hurry as usual and asked her what it was. She had a grin from ear to ear and was begging me to come with her. Well Jaycee has these BIG beautiful blue eyes that allows her to get almost anything she wants.

So I reluctantly followed her back into the school, all the way to the back and she showed me a large bulletin board entitled "PRINCIPLEs SHOWCASE." In the bottom left corner was a paper Jaycee had drawn! She was soo flippin' excited!! It was the cutest thing.

I asked the ladies in the office exactly what the Principles Showcase was. They explained that every class displays artwork outside their classroom, and as the principle walks by the classrooms he picks the best art work. Then after they are displayed he calls the kids to the office and gives them a pencil, and congratulates them on their job well done.

My favorite part about Jaycees work is the spelling on the different fruits and vegetables. She is adorable!!

Congrats to my aspiring artist Jaycee!

Jaycee and Mommy's night out

Little late posting this! OOOPs

When Jaycee was going through her testing I decided the night before her endoscopy that I would take her out to do something fun. She needed the distraction and I rarely get to spend time with her alone. Oh ok! It was me who needed the distraction too!:)

We decided to invite Payton and Lori to go with us and make it a girls night out. We went to this little restaurant in Orem called 12th and 7 pizza. I love it!! Then we took the girls to Build a Bear and let the girls make bears. Jaycee made a cute bear with leaves on it that she named FALL. It is cute and she dressed it like The Little Mermaid.

The distraction helped and she took FALL back to surgery with her. The pics of her coming out of surgery make me sad:( She was very brave and I love my little Caiters!!

gloves

I bought my kids all coats this weekend because they are on sale and Old Navy has graciously upped our discount for 2 weeks. I found Camden these gloves that match his coat at Gap (I also get a GREAT discount there) They have finger holes with the ends cut out and the a mitten that cover them.

I bought them on Friday and he hasn't taken them off since. I even caught him trying to get in the tub with them. He has also slept in them every night!!! So I snapped a pick!

He is such a weird little cutie!!

What a Weekend

This past weekend we did a lot of fun things! Oh and it has been a while since I have blogged anything.

Allie invited us to go to Hee Haw Farms with her, her kids and Brandee. It was a blast! My kids had a lot of fun and have talked about wanting to go back everyday! We did a corn maze, train ride, hay rides and lots of way cute fun stuff. I am really thinking about going back in the next couple of weeks.

Then on Saturday I got organized! I know that that might not seem like a lot of fun, but to me it is fun! It is something thing that has been driving me crazy since we moved here! (8 months) I love the feeling after you're organized!

On Sunday I went to church. Well I trued to but apparently it was stake conference and I was not aware:) You get points for trying though...right? Then I took dinner out to my parents and Camden was crying because his mouth hurt. I looked in his mouth and found about 5 cancers and some weird dots in his mouth. So I took him to his Doctor and he has hand, foot and mouth! OH and he actually has about 10 cancers!!!! The poor little guy has not been able to eat for about 3 days:( he will only eat Popsicles. I feel so bad for him. But I am glad that we were able to do something fun before he got sick!

Thanks for inviting us Allie!

So frustrated....

So a few years ago I loaned someone Camden's preemie clothes with the only condition being that I wanted them back. This person promised me that they would return them. The majority of these items were from Gymboree because I worked there. These were the clothes that I had picked to save for Camden. Which in hind sight I never should have loaned them out!:(

The problem is that this person lied to me for 2 1/2 years that they had them and would store them for me because I have had a storage unit until recently. But I have asked for them 10,000 times and they have always had an excuse. But now my heart is broken and I am so freakin mad! But really what can they do to make up for it? How mad should I be? How much of this is my fault? But now I have zero, none, zilch clothes for my special little guy! I have been crying all night.

Hopefully I will be over it soon:(

First Day

This past month or so all of my kids started school. Brynlee started 4th grade, Jaycee 1st and Camden started preschool today. My favorite part about this time if year is the school shopping!!! I hate how much it all costs, but love my fashion conscientious girls!!

Bryn has totally wants to be super trendy, but I refuse to let her have fluorescent hi-tops with paint splatters...reminds me of the ones I used to have when I was her age, but think SOMETHINGS should never come back in style(especially the 80's). Bryn for sure has her own style, and is really getting into accessories. She is my future fashionista!!

Jaycee is very easy to please! She loves anything I bring home, well as long as it is usually pink or sparkly....or sometimes both! She looks adorable in anything!

Camden has all the sudden gotten weird about what he wears. He wants to know if he looks good and If I think he is handsome! He is HANDSOME and such a sweetie!!

Here are some pics of my future fashionistas!!

HIM

I saw HIM tonight.
It was very unexpected, very scary.
The truth is that I still love HIM.
Not the way you might think.
HE made me feel very beautiful, special and worthy of someone like HIM when we were together.

HE is getting married.
I am so happy for HIM.
HIM and I are not meant to be, I called it off twice.
Yet there was that twinge/pang in my heart when HE told me.
We talked like no time had passed at all....oh how I love that about us.

I hope she knows she is lucky to have HIM.
If I didn't have 3 beautiful kids it would be me HE would be marrying....
thus why I called it off.
But I know we are not meant to be, so all I can be is happy for HIM, and thankful for all he taught me.

HE was proud of me for sticking in school.
HE is the reason I am still in school.
HE is so happy she is no longer in my life...even though it's been very hard for me.
I want to thank HIM for being in my life, and for all he has done for me.

I wonder if I ever cross his mind?

The results are in

Jaycees GI doctor (who I LOVE btw) called 6 minutes earlier than she told me she would...Dang I love her promptness. She said that Jaycee has an infection in her small intestines that has been there for a long time (possibly years). She also has gastrointestinitis (not sure about the spelling). These are treatable by meds, and Jaycee should feel a lot better within a week.

In reading a lot about celiac disease and the benefits from not having gluten in our diets, I am strongly considering going gluten free.

Gluten has been linked to autism, ADHD, and several other diseases. There are no reason we need gluten, and many diets are gluten free. I think I will try it and see if there is any improvement in Jaycee. And possibly I can get the last 15 lbs off!!!

anxiety

Tomorrow I will find out what has been making Jaycee so ill. I am so anxious! It could be a million things. Everyone I talk to about it has had the same thing happen to them or someone they know...and every time they tell me about it, I get more anxious!

So to curb my anxiety I broke the Sabbath and went to Walmart to get some red velvet cake...it's my fav and they always have pieces you can buy! Well to my surprise they had a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting and red velvet crumbs on top. Yahoo! Red velvet and cream cheese....now we are talking! It made me feel better:)

I would just like to thank everyone who has left messages or brought her stuff to make her feel better...it reminds me that even though I am single, I am not alone:)

Love you all!

IV

Today Jaycee told me she stood up in front of her class and told them all about her "fluency shot!"

I could only imagine she was talking about her "flu" shot she got last year. She proceeded to explain her story when I realized she was talking about the 2 IVs she got when they did her endoscopy on Tuesday!!!

I am sure she made her teachers day:)

She sure made mine!

Like a fire

I have recently again struggled with my testimony. To be honest I sometimes (more often than not) feel forgotten. I hate being single, although marriage does not always sound better! Raising children is not something I have ever wanted to do alone.

I feel guilt that I am not a good enough mom, that what their dad has done to them will screw them up anyway....so why try?

But then in my heart I know that HE is there. That HE loves me and that with HIM I can do it. I know it is not going to be easy....but with HIM by my side, I CAN!

I hope I have more CAN days in the future!

Sick

I have been sick now for a week! I went to the doctor on Wednesday, after I sat in my first class of the new fall semester, coughing and receiving dirty looks from fellow students and the professor.

I have bronchitis and was put on a z-pack, cough medicine and an inhaler. But I have been on them for 3+ days and still feel crappy!!!

I want to breath again....inhale, exhale and not have boogers fly out of my nose!!!

feeling

Jaycee was just taken back to the procedure room. She will have biopsies of her esophagus, stomach and small intestine. I think that the saying goodbye to her as she walked back through the double doors SUCKS! I hate that feeling!

She is far braver than I am. The cute nurses ruined her first IV and they had to give her another...I wasn't happy, but she did not even whimper!

I love Jaycee more than I can express in words. She is my personality twin. She looks exactly like her dad, but everything under the skin in 100% me! I think that is why we clash sometimes. We are both independent, stubborn, but lovers.

I hope she will be ok, and the Dr will come back and say that magically she is cured. But I know that no such miracles exist for her. I am hoping it is just celiac. I know that even that will be hard for me given my current situation, but anything worse I am not prepared for.....

I hope all will be well.

Beyond that point

Everyone talks about getting to "that" point. Well I have reached it and beyond!!! I screamed at my kids the other day because they had 4 hours to clean their rooms and the ignored me like a didn't exist! Needless to say...I have a sore throat! (guess that's what I get)

I have since taken away both girls littlest pet shop and CD players....

They did clean their room at that point, and they will have to earn them back!

Jaycee is going into have an endoscopy tomorrow and I am freaking out!

Oh and I start school on Wednesday and haven't got half of the in between semester chores done!

I am OVERWHELMED!

Burn Camp 2009

This is my 8th year at this camp. If you are one of the 2 people that read my blog then you know about my nephew Alex that was burned 11 years ago. So, this camp has a very very special place in my heart.

I went to the U at 9am for our staff training. In the past this is something that I dread because I have been a counselor for so long it's very repetitive for me. But this year it went by fast, and I was actually impressed with how smoothly it went. Brad, Ratch and Kristin are the directors of the camp and have the biggest hearts of anyone I know.

At about 3pm we headed up to the camp. The Boys Scouts are very generous and let us use Camp Tracy in Millcreek canyon for free. And I would like to personally thank them, they always are very good to us while we are there. We set up camp and the campers started showing up at about 5pm.

I had 2 campers this year and am not allowed to give names or their stories, for they are their stories to tell. But I enjoyed both girls very much, and miss them a lot. Every camper has a story and each is unique and very personal to me. I love these campers so much and they give me WAY more than I give them. This camp is a healing place for all of us.

Some things this year that I did and am way proud of are: Climbing the rock wall all the way to the top, participating in the skits, and not being terrified of the smelly canoe water.

Somethings I didn't like are: my camper taking pictures of me when I was not dressed, the magic show that comes every year needs to get some new tricks, no square dancing (i seriously love it!), and some small drama between me and another counselor.

I felt very much more involved in this camp than I have in the past. I am in a good place right now, and the future is looking bright.

Someone said this year that camp is more like family and I would have to agree. I have made so many friends that I have made there that the friendships and true and will last forever.

To the camp directors Brad, Ratch and Kristin....Thank you for letting me be a part of this. I am honored that you want me involved, and thank you for being such wonderful people and amazing examples to me. I am proud to call you my friends!!

To my friends...Brandy, Janette and Mitch (and all other counselors) I love you and thank you for your friendships. I enjoy seeing and spending camp with you. Thank you for your love!

I can't wait to do it again next year!

I can't post pics of the kids, but will have the link for the pics soon!

Friends Forever

Since January some of my oldest friends (Allie, ShaRee, Tara, Melanie, Tracy and myself) have been getting together once a month to go to dinner. In the 7 months we have had this year we have only not gone once. I am so proud of all of us for continuing to do this. It has really meant a lot to me. Since I do not have a husband/boyfriend this has been an amazing thing for me.

I met Tracy at church just days before 6th grade started. I had just moved to South Jordan and had no friends, so meeting her made this transition easier for me. We lived in the same neighborhood, just at different ends, and would walk to and from school together. Love ya Trace:)

I met Allie when I started 6th grade. Her and Tracy were already friends and I was immediately accepted into their click. Allie and I both love to run and it has made us hang out a lot more recently, and I hope to run some races with her soon.....that is if I can catch her! Allie is the girl that gives it to me straight, and is not afraid to hurt my feelings...and boy have I needed that. Thanks and love ya lots Al:)

Sharee and I met in middle school. I remember in 7th grade gym we took our spray deodorant and sprayed our arms until it left a burn...I still have the scar. Sharee and I have had many fun nights together. My fav is when we TP someone boys house and we were all running away when Tracy fell and got the wind knocked out of her...We drove off laughing so hard that we had to pull over and she peed on the side of the road:)

Tara I met in high school. She is when of the sweetest people I know. She gave me some good advice when I went through my divorce. And I love what she said to me...so I will keep that private:)

Melanie aka Melons and I met in middle school. Her and I have not been as close as the others because her family moved to Hawaii right after high school. She is very independent and I respect her greatly for that:)

I hope we all keep our promise and continue to do this every month. I love these girls so much! They have stuck by me through thick and thin, and love me no matter what choices I have made. I have other friends, but have never had any girls be so loyal to me. They will know what I mean by that! Thank you again girls...friends forever!!!!

Camping....kinda

Lately my family and I have been going up American Fork canyon and camping for the day. We usually go up and have dinner. On the 24th we went up and had breakfast. My kids L.O.V.E. that they can get dirty.

We go to the Little Mill camp grounds, there is a rock that is shaped like a diamond...thus called "diamond rock." Here are a few pics and videos of us going down the rock. My sister Lori makes me laugh so hard when she goes down, and Camden has no fear!

I laugh so hard when my sis says that Cam has a coconut bum:)

My bum hurt for 3 days after doing this OW! Lori's scream is the best!!!!!

Loyalty

In the dictionary LOYALTY has a definition of:

adherence to something to which one is bound by a pledge or duty

I think that a lot of people in this day and age need to understand what this means...that's all!

Melissa

Reese's Pieces?

This weekend we bought Reese's Peanut Butter cups. Well Camden keeps asking me for one, (I think) but he keeps saying "penis reese's."

I keep correcting him, but he doesn't realize what he is saying??? I am confused?

But every time he says it I crack up!

Love that little man!:)

Everyone needs one!

Everyone needs a Brynlee. If you have ever met my oldest daughter Bryn, you know what I am talking about! She is such a strong and amazing nine year old!!

Her birthday was Monday (July 13th) and I remember 9 years ago when I became a mommy for the first time. She was such a good baby! She slept through he night at 2 weeks and has put herself to bed every night since then at about 8:30. And I don't even have to ask her! She is smart, beautiful inside out, and love her family and Heavenly Father so much!

What I love most about Bryn is her sweet spirit that is an example to me. Not only does she help me out tremendously, and has since she was 4, she knows the truth about her dad and still loves him and forgives him. (something I am working on a lot lately) She is an amazing softball player! Loves her brother and sissy, and me so much! I do not think that a Mother has ever been so loved!

Brynlee, (I know you want to be called Bryn, but I love your full name) sorry

Happy Birthday! I hope your day was everything you wanted it to be! Thank you so much for all you do for mom, I couldn't do this with out you! I love you sooo much and love being your mommy.

You have grown up way too fast and that makes me sad (and old). But know I am proud of you everyday! You are my right arm and don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for being such and example to me.

Mom

So wise beyond her years

Today Bryn asked me to mail a letter to her Dad. I being a little sneaky read it....Only because I wanted to make a copy to show the Judge when I take SD (sperm donor) back to court.

It read...

Dad I've had some hard times. My Birthday is tomorrow I'll turn 9 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in an apartment town home I want to live in a house with my own room. And I want a dog a mini. huskey and money for my birthday OK or a toy like littlest pet shops or a D.S. game like Phieneiss and Ferb or a makup designer.

Love,

Bryn


Ok so we may need to work on her punctuation. But this absolutely breaks my heart. It has been 1 year since SD has seen his kids. And at this point I would rather him not.

Does anyone have any advice?

I finally did it

As some of you know I have a had a lot of problems with my monthly visits from the blessed fairy that comes to visit once a month, and has done so since I was a pubescent teen. I loved her so much! (yeah right) She would visit me for about 9 days and then leave me anemic till her next visit. I have tried various forms of contraceptive with no luck of lessening her lengthy visits. Since I am single my doctor has never wanted to do anything permanent. But I was so anemic I was not functioning properly, and my poor kiddos were the ones taking the brunt of my feeling less than on top of my game.

So on my 30th birthday (June 2) I had an endometrial ablation. That is when the burn the inside of your uterus...thus making it so I do not shed the lining (because there is not one to shed) and no more bleeding.

I have struggled with this idea because I have always wanted more children. I always thought I would me married by now and have one or two with the love of my life. But my Heavenly Father has a different plan for me. One I am not sure I like, but I am at his mercy. He must be teaching me patience, or maybe all the good guys are gone. Who knows? I have more struggled because my friends are still having babies. Tiffany had one on my birthday, Tracy is due later this year and I know Allie will at least have one more. I feel so much older than my friends, even though we are all the same age, because I am in a different chapter in my life.

Well I had the surgery anyway, so there is no turning back now. I have had a few complications, and have felt like absolute crap. I hope I will be running again soon! I have a big race coming up, and I hate it when I feel under prepared.

BaBy GoT bAcK!

I took Jaycee and the Cam man to lunch today at Red Robin. They were not happy, but there was no way I was going to do anywhere with a play land. So when we got there and had ordered I told them I needed to excuse myself and go to the restroom. Cam said he needed to go too, so we went into the girls bathroom. There were only 2 stalls available...the handicap one and a regular one. Cam started to go into the handicap stall but quickly walked out and said the I have a way bigger butt than him so I better take the bigger bathroom. Ha ha! He was not being mean, just totally honest in his eyes. Gotta love it!

A little while later Cam man and I were playing tic tac toe, he asked me how old I was....I asked him how old he thought I was? He said 13! Yahoo!!! But then he added I was pg-13 because I was the only one allowed to watch pg-13 moved in our house. I laughed so hard! He is so perceptive and stinkin cute.

Today I am very thankful that I am a mother....it is the hardest job I will have, but so rewarding on days like today :)

I am feeling lots better

Due to my previous post I have scared a lot of people. I want everyone to know I am fine...not suicidal or depressed. I am very content right now and things are looking up for me and my kids. I love and appreciate every ones concern. Thank you and please keep my little family in your thoughts and prayers.

This blows!

I have never believed that I could get so down on myself. Yes I am single and I mommy of 3 beautiful kids that I do adore. But lately the same old mundane life seems to be pulling me into a black hole. Usually I can see the light and get through this type of situation easily, but the last 3 weeks have just plain sucked! I feel like I am a horrible mother, daughter, friend, sister...and future wife to somebody. I have tried to pray but feel my prayers are not powerful enough for the Lord to ever know I exist. I have no patience and truly feel ugly....an ugly I have never felt before. I feel this life is so full of deceit and lies that it could be all a farce. Maybe this life is just a bad dream and I will wake up and feel differently, but for now this life blows!

UGH!

The last couple of weeks I have just felt....UGH! The break from school is nice and I love spending more time with the kids, but my mood has been so somber. I think a few things have happened that contribute to this situation, and I have tried to feel better, but can't. I feel overwhelmed at times and wish this life wasn't so hard. Hopefully the long weekend will help, and i just need to remember that it could be a lot worse.

Moms

I would like to thank my Mom for all she does for me. She is an amazing woman who has been through a lot, and has always been there for me! So here are the top 10 reasons I love my Mom.

1. She raised us in the church...and her faith has never been shaken.

2. She loves me no matter what.

3. She is beautiful inside and out.

4. She has had 2 kidney transplants, and could run circles around most moms.

5. She always sees the bright side even when I don't.

6. She would kill my ex husband if I asked her to....ha ha jk (I think).

7. She will never let me have a pity party!!! (sometimes I don't like this one jk)

8. She is proud of me for going back to school.

9. She is a great Grandma!

10. As much as I hate to admit it sometimes, I am a lot like her....:)

Love you Mom and Happy Mothers Day!

Poor Jaycee

This last Thursday I was at the park watching Bryn play softball. She was having a killer game!! She has gotten so good, and I am so proud of her! Well Jaycee was playing on the playground at the park and she fell off the monkey bars. She was crying, but not too hard. I had her sit by me because Bryn's game was almost over. She sat there for a few minutes and then was off playing again. Well a few minutes later I could not see her and so I walked to the playground to find her. She was sitting in a toddler swing and was crying. I ran over to her and she said she couldn't get out because her wrist hurt. I scooped her out and we finished watching the game. When we got to the car she burst into tears and said it hurt. So I took her to the doctor and she has a buckle fracture. The good thing about this type of fracture is that it can be treated with just a splint. So they splinted it and we went home.

The problem with Jaycee is that she is SNEAKY! The little stinker would not keep her splint on. Even better she bribed her big sissy to help her take it off!!! I have threatened her with her life, but still she has been taking it off. So today I went and had her doctor put a cast on her. She is actually excited because her friends can sign it! She is such a super cutie, and has been a sweetheart through this whole thing. And in 3 weeks she gets it off!

Salt Lake Half Marathon

Well this past weekens I ran the SL half. I was really nervous the race was not going to happen because of all the bad publicity in the news. But when I got my race packet I knew there was no way they would cancel it. I felt a little more prepared for this race than I did the Canyonlands half. I had still been running, although, not as much as I have wanted to. Well the race started out great and the first 9 miles flew by! I was amazed at how quickly and how nice the route was. The only part that totally sucked was the stretch up State Street, it had an incline the whole time. At times I felt I probably could have waled faster than I was running. But once we got to the top I told Nicholle...let's go. We ran the last mile hard. About 3/4 the way through the last mile I saw my Mom, Dad and Bryn. They high fived Nicholle and I, and we took off again. The people surrounding the Gateway were just cheering us on and I felt the wave of emotions again, Nicholle and I finished hand in hand again!:) They announced our names as we crossed, which I thought was way cool, and our team was waiting for us! We took a finishers photo together and got our medals. I then found the Taggarts who had Jaycee and Camden with them. And Camden told me he had heard my name called, and the Taggarts said he yelled "that's my mom!" I took 17 minutes off my previous time of 2:34 and finished 2:17, which I feel sooo good about! Can't wait to do it again!

My BFF Nicholle

Tomorrow is My BFF Nicholle DeNiros 30th Birthday. And so this post is a tribute to her and as to why I love her so much!

Nicholle and I met 3 years ago through my boyfriend at the time. Our friendship came so easily that it has always felt like we have known each other for a lifetime. Fortunately, me and that boyfriend didn't last. But Nicholle and I wanted to remain friends. It was not easy...I was a WRECK and devastated. But she helped me get through it. I know it wasn't easy for her and I was a pain in the ass, but she was there for me!And I hope someday I can return the favor.

TOP 10 REASONS YOU'RE JEALOUS NICHOLLE ISN'T YOUR BFF

1. She is beautiful both inside and out

2. She is an amazing mother, wife and friend

3. Tomorrow she is 30 and is rockin it like she is 21

4. We both hate the same stupid people

5. We finished our first half marathon hand in hand

6. I laugh the hardest when I am with her

7. She is stubborn, and proud of it:)

8. We know exactly what the other one is thinking

9. We know people are jealous of our friendship

10. HAVING HER IN MY LIFE MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON

Nicholle,

I love you so much and I am so proud of you for sticking to your training and completing the half. Our friendship has truly been put to the test and once again we have come shining through and better friends because of it!

I hope you know there is nothing I wouldn't do for you and want to thank you for helping me get through some of the toughest things in my life.

Your sis said it right..."best friends are like sisters!" Thank you for telling it to me straight, and not sugar coating anything.Happy birthday and I hope your day is amazing! You deserve it!

Melissa

I DID IT!!!!

A week ago I ran my first half marathon. It was in Moab and was absolutely beautiful. I finished in 2:34 min. A lot slower than I would have liked to, but hey....I finished. I had started training in January and when I moved in February I hurt my back:( I was down for 2 weeks and missed a lot of training. And the week before the race I had mid-terms and well...let's just say that I totally felt under trained. I went down with my friends and got a a waiting list. I had to go back the night before and find out if I was in or not. I got in!! And the reality of the situation sunk in...in the morning I was running 13.1 miles!! AHHH! But I have amazing friends that I run with, and they made me feel better about it. I didn't sleep the night before and my body would not let me eat in the morning. Well the race started out great...I fell getting out of the bus! And yes even I laughed:) Well miles 1-11 were pretty easy. At mile 10 I took an energy gel that had caffeine in it and it kicked in about mile 11. Needless to say, I felt funny at mile 11, my heart was racing! I couldn't figure out why. But I had been running for a little over 2 hours and I hadn't eaten anything for about 5. It scared me and I had to walk for about 20 seconds...and again about a half mile later. But then I realized I had only 1.5 miles left and I just wanted to get it over with. I had ran the whole race with my BFF Nicholle and when we were about to cross the finish line she grabbed my hand...I cried. Mostly because I knew I was done, but also because I felt so glad I was able to do this!! And yes I will do it again!

Burn Camp Auction

Almost 11 years ago my nephew Alex was burned. He was 8 years old and him and a couple of his friends decided to play with fire. Alex was burned over 70% of his body and was life flighted to the University of Utah Burn Trauma Center. He stayed there for over 2 months and had several surgeries including skin grafts. I was very involved in his treatment and recovery, I got to know several people in the Burn Unit. When Alex was recovered he was told about a camp here in Utah that was for kids that have been burned. He has received a lot of support through this camp and made several life long friends.

7 years ago I decided I wanted to be a part of this camp. I interviewed and was accepted as a counselor at camp Nah nah mah (it means togetherness and friendship in Ute). My first camper was a little girl named April from Idaho. She has similar burn to my nephew and was just a joy to have! After that I was hooked, and this August it will be my 8Th year as a counselor. I love it. I get so much from the camp and have made so many friends! BCR! ( that's what we say to each other, it means BURN CAMP RULES!)

These camps provide and environment where no one stares or asks questions about their burns. They can talk about them only if they want to. We go from sun up to sun down with activities for these kids. My favorite is the pool because some kids have never taken off their shirt before, but feel completely comfortable in front of other kids who truly understand what it means to be a burn survivor!

3 years ago an auction was started to raise money for the river trip (kids 6-12 go to nah nah mah and 13-18 go on a river trip) so there is no cost involved to the kids or their families. This past Saturday was the 3rd one and it amazes me to see how generous people are. And I would like to thank everyone that donated and everyone that continues to volunteer to make this camp possible for these kids! They have sure made a difference for my nephew!

So I thought I would post a few pics from the auction. If anyone would like to donate or get involved...let me know!