I am feeling lots better

Due to my previous post I have scared a lot of people. I want everyone to know I am fine...not suicidal or depressed. I am very content right now and things are looking up for me and my kids. I love and appreciate every ones concern. Thank you and please keep my little family in your thoughts and prayers.

This blows!

I have never believed that I could get so down on myself. Yes I am single and I mommy of 3 beautiful kids that I do adore. But lately the same old mundane life seems to be pulling me into a black hole. Usually I can see the light and get through this type of situation easily, but the last 3 weeks have just plain sucked! I feel like I am a horrible mother, daughter, friend, sister...and future wife to somebody. I have tried to pray but feel my prayers are not powerful enough for the Lord to ever know I exist. I have no patience and truly feel ugly....an ugly I have never felt before. I feel this life is so full of deceit and lies that it could be all a farce. Maybe this life is just a bad dream and I will wake up and feel differently, but for now this life blows!

UGH!

The last couple of weeks I have just felt....UGH! The break from school is nice and I love spending more time with the kids, but my mood has been so somber. I think a few things have happened that contribute to this situation, and I have tried to feel better, but can't. I feel overwhelmed at times and wish this life wasn't so hard. Hopefully the long weekend will help, and i just need to remember that it could be a lot worse.

Moms

I would like to thank my Mom for all she does for me. She is an amazing woman who has been through a lot, and has always been there for me! So here are the top 10 reasons I love my Mom.

1. She raised us in the church...and her faith has never been shaken.

2. She loves me no matter what.

3. She is beautiful inside and out.

4. She has had 2 kidney transplants, and could run circles around most moms.

5. She always sees the bright side even when I don't.

6. She would kill my ex husband if I asked her to....ha ha jk (I think).

7. She will never let me have a pity party!!! (sometimes I don't like this one jk)

8. She is proud of me for going back to school.

9. She is a great Grandma!

10. As much as I hate to admit it sometimes, I am a lot like her....:)

Love you Mom and Happy Mothers Day!

Poor Jaycee

This last Thursday I was at the park watching Bryn play softball. She was having a killer game!! She has gotten so good, and I am so proud of her! Well Jaycee was playing on the playground at the park and she fell off the monkey bars. She was crying, but not too hard. I had her sit by me because Bryn's game was almost over. She sat there for a few minutes and then was off playing again. Well a few minutes later I could not see her and so I walked to the playground to find her. She was sitting in a toddler swing and was crying. I ran over to her and she said she couldn't get out because her wrist hurt. I scooped her out and we finished watching the game. When we got to the car she burst into tears and said it hurt. So I took her to the doctor and she has a buckle fracture. The good thing about this type of fracture is that it can be treated with just a splint. So they splinted it and we went home.

The problem with Jaycee is that she is SNEAKY! The little stinker would not keep her splint on. Even better she bribed her big sissy to help her take it off!!! I have threatened her with her life, but still she has been taking it off. So today I went and had her doctor put a cast on her. She is actually excited because her friends can sign it! She is such a super cutie, and has been a sweetheart through this whole thing. And in 3 weeks she gets it off!

Salt Lake Half Marathon

Well this past weekens I ran the SL half. I was really nervous the race was not going to happen because of all the bad publicity in the news. But when I got my race packet I knew there was no way they would cancel it. I felt a little more prepared for this race than I did the Canyonlands half. I had still been running, although, not as much as I have wanted to. Well the race started out great and the first 9 miles flew by! I was amazed at how quickly and how nice the route was. The only part that totally sucked was the stretch up State Street, it had an incline the whole time. At times I felt I probably could have waled faster than I was running. But once we got to the top I told Nicholle...let's go. We ran the last mile hard. About 3/4 the way through the last mile I saw my Mom, Dad and Bryn. They high fived Nicholle and I, and we took off again. The people surrounding the Gateway were just cheering us on and I felt the wave of emotions again, Nicholle and I finished hand in hand again!:) They announced our names as we crossed, which I thought was way cool, and our team was waiting for us! We took a finishers photo together and got our medals. I then found the Taggarts who had Jaycee and Camden with them. And Camden told me he had heard my name called, and the Taggarts said he yelled "that's my mom!" I took 17 minutes off my previous time of 2:34 and finished 2:17, which I feel sooo good about! Can't wait to do it again!

My BFF Nicholle

Tomorrow is My BFF Nicholle DeNiros 30th Birthday. And so this post is a tribute to her and as to why I love her so much!

Nicholle and I met 3 years ago through my boyfriend at the time. Our friendship came so easily that it has always felt like we have known each other for a lifetime. Fortunately, me and that boyfriend didn't last. But Nicholle and I wanted to remain friends. It was not easy...I was a WRECK and devastated. But she helped me get through it. I know it wasn't easy for her and I was a pain in the ass, but she was there for me!And I hope someday I can return the favor.

TOP 10 REASONS YOU'RE JEALOUS NICHOLLE ISN'T YOUR BFF

1. She is beautiful both inside and out

2. She is an amazing mother, wife and friend

3. Tomorrow she is 30 and is rockin it like she is 21

4. We both hate the same stupid people

5. We finished our first half marathon hand in hand

6. I laugh the hardest when I am with her

7. She is stubborn, and proud of it:)

8. We know exactly what the other one is thinking

9. We know people are jealous of our friendship

10. HAVING HER IN MY LIFE MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON

Nicholle,

I love you so much and I am so proud of you for sticking to your training and completing the half. Our friendship has truly been put to the test and once again we have come shining through and better friends because of it!

I hope you know there is nothing I wouldn't do for you and want to thank you for helping me get through some of the toughest things in my life.

Your sis said it right..."best friends are like sisters!" Thank you for telling it to me straight, and not sugar coating anything.Happy birthday and I hope your day is amazing! You deserve it!

Melissa