This blows!

I have never believed that I could get so down on myself. Yes I am single and I mommy of 3 beautiful kids that I do adore. But lately the same old mundane life seems to be pulling me into a black hole. Usually I can see the light and get through this type of situation easily, but the last 3 weeks have just plain sucked! I feel like I am a horrible mother, daughter, friend, sister...and future wife to somebody. I have tried to pray but feel my prayers are not powerful enough for the Lord to ever know I exist. I have no patience and truly feel ugly....an ugly I have never felt before. I feel this life is so full of deceit and lies that it could be all a farce. Maybe this life is just a bad dream and I will wake up and feel differently, but for now this life blows!